by Mary Claybon | Feb 10, 2018 | Health and Wellness |
My friend Janet and I with her red convertible. Notice the basket of wine and chocolate.
A friend of mine owns a red convertible. She got it over 18 years ago and it still looks great. She is now in her late 70s but as vibrant as her car. Her license plate is Joy 4 All, and she lives that every day of her life from her vintage clothes and hats, to her thoughtful gifts and notes. This friend recently lost her oldest son to early dementia so it’s hard for her to have that joy all the time. In fact, as she feels her grief and experiences her body aging, like all of us, she has occasional meltdowns. But not for long, for something will come along that not only delights her but delights someone else.
Recently one of her neighbors was celebrating their mother’s 94th birthday party. One of the things on her bucket list was to drive around in a red convertible. The son of the birthday girl was trying to figure out how to make this dream come true. He called several rental car companies to no avail. No one had an available red convertible for rent. He thought of borrowing one from a car dealer, but unless you put a down payment on the auto, you are out of luck. Then an idea came to him. He said to his wife, “ Doesn’t our neighbor own a red convertible?” Light bulb idea!!! He called my friend and said he had an out-of-the-box favor to ask. Could he borrow her red convertible? My friend, joyful as can be, thought this was a great idea and would be happy to let him use the car for the day.
On the day of her birthday, the son surprised his mother by picking her up in the morning for a day of celebration and driving around in a red convertible. She was so delighted and could not believe her dream came true. They had a day out to brunch, then took a ferry ride to Maysville and toured the home of Rosemary Clooney followed by a celebration dinner.
Later that day they returned the car, full of gas, with the utmost gratitude. My friend told me this story with a smile on her face -“Oh! It was so much fun to make someone’s dream come true!”
I have another friend who recently celebrated her 77th birthday in hospice. Two weeks ago she was walking my neighborhood and now has weeks to live due to a malignant and aggressive brain tumor. I went to visit her. It was 11:30 in the morning and there she was sipping a small bottle of Sutter Home Sauvignon Blanc. I said, “ Are you drinking wine?” I was smiling as I do love wine and thought, why not? Glad they let you have it here. I think I might want to do the same thing. She turned her head to me and said, “Yep! All day long-that and chocolate. What else can I do?” She explained that she chose not to have any treatment, but rather to take the path of palliative care, which assures comfort and allows her to spend what time she has left with her family and friends and enjoy her wine and chocolate. She said if anyone asks what to bring-wine and chocolate!
A group of us put a basket together for her. Each person contributed something based on the theme, wine, chocolate, and comfort care. We brought her a basket full of wine, chocolate, cookies, books, and more. I think she appreciated the thoughts as well as the things. She died about 10 days later at peace and surrounded by her family
One never knows how much time we have left to age and then to die. We don’t all have the same dreams or the same joys. We don’t all have the same experiences, but what we do have is a choice to live as full a life as we can and to be there when someone asks for an out of the box favor and to give with an open heart. It is healing for all.
It has been awhile since I wrote this and I want to add that we all should imagine just for a day that we are in hospice with only 6 months to live. How will you live those days? Angry? Afraid? At peace? Have you had those important conversations with loved ones and friends? Don’t wait to suddenly be told you only have weeks or months to live. We all are on a time line. Life is precious.
by Mary Claybon | Sep 12, 2017 | Health and Wellness |
I recently got pulled over for going too slow. I love to take my time on the country roads between my home and visiting my Godmother at the nursing home in Centerville. I set my WAZE navigation app for avoiding freeways. That way it takes me through the small town of Lebanon and along beautiful tree lined roads with large homes and gardens, farms and pastures.
On Fridays or Saturdays, I stop at all the garage sales if I have time. I love garage sales-not just for the small items or books I may buy for a couple of dollars, but also to chat with the sellers. This Friday on my way, I stopped at one sale, and the house had the most beautiful landscape. There were flowers everywhere neatly groomed into garden areas around the mailbox, and light post. There was a large manmade pond in the front yard surrounded by perfectly groomed flowers, hosta plants, and garden sculptors and decorative pots. There were 8 foot Dalia plants and a variety of perennials and annuals. The back yard was a beautiful array of retreat areas, trellises, rocks, and stone paths. There was a fairy garden and a tree house, a quintessential potting shed and a beautiful wooden swing set and play yard. As I got to know the owners, I learned they had several grandchildren who enjoy visiting and exploring Grandma and Grandpa’s paradise. They also enjoy the small pontoon boat sitting peacefully in the front yard pond. I didn’t buy anything at the garage sale but learned more about gardening and then headed on my way.
I continued to traverse the country roads and enjoyed a couple of more sales before finally reaching the nursing home for my visit. After taking my Godmother out to a small quaint European Café for lunch and a trip to the doctor, I brought her back to her room, hugged her, and looked forward to my 40-minute drive home again enjoying the country roads and catching any sales I might have missed along the way.
I never worry about the speed limit as I love just taking my time if I’m not in a hurry to get home. Today was one of those afternoons. As I was driving I saw some garage sale signs, I hesitated for a minute before realizing I had been to those sales, so I kept driving. I noticed a police car following me and feeling innocent I didn’t think much of it until the car in back of me had turned, and the policeman kept following me. I got a little nervous as I was driving by a school zone-however the lights for the lowered speed were not flashing. I thought I better be safe so I only went 25 miles an hour in the 20- mile school zone. And there went the flashing lights. I thought, Could he have gotten me for going 5 miles over the speed limit? Or was he stopping me for something else? Was I speeding before? Oh dear!
I pulled over into the school parking lot and sat there waiting for him to come to my window and ask for my license. I rolled down my window and said, “ What did I do wrong?” He said, “ You have done a lot wrong!” Gosh, I thought I’m in big trouble-although I couldn’t imagine what would make me so guilty. He continued, “ For one thing you hesitated at an intersection where there was no stop sign! I started to tell him that was because I thought I saw the garage sale sign but realized I’d already been to that one. He interrupted me without humor, “ And do you know you are going 45 miles an hour in a 55- mile speed zone? Then you go slow in a school zone, and the lights were not flashing so you were supposed to go the speed limit.” I apologized. I said I just like to take my time and felt nervous with you behind me.” He said, “ I have to ask-Are you impaired? Do you have any warrants? Are you a diabetic on the verge of coma? I can see you were not texting, but if you were, that would be another problem.”
I politely said with sincerity, “ No, I’m fine. I just like to enjoy the country roads and stop at garage sales along the way. And truthfully I did not know what to do in the school zone. I could see it wasn’t flashing, and there were no cars in the school parking lot, but I feel nervous when a policeman is following me. “
Then he smiled, and said, “ Well I’m not giving you a ticket or anything but in the future go with the speed limit and be careful at intersections. I do still have to see that you are a legal driver and have a license so please take your license out of your wallet.” Gladly I gave him my license. He took it back to his car, and I remembered I had expired epinephrine injectors and albuterol inhalers in my trunk. They were from an old emergency drug kit from Steve’s dental office. I needed to discard of them and had not yet taken them to the local police dept. God, what if he searches my car! Drugs. Then I thought of anything that could be on my record. I think I’m clean and hopefully my license plate ALLARONE will soften him a bit.
He came back to the window. Gave me my license and was much more congenial.
He said, “ You are clean. Not a ticket in 10 years. I had to do my job. When I see someone going slow, often they are either impaired or texting. My sister is diabetic, and I have been called more than once to come get her on the side of the road when her blood sugar was off.” I empathized with him and acknowledged that had to be hard and make him more aware of impaired or sick drivers.
I told him I understood and I appreciated his concern, but I’m fine. Just like to take my time. I did think about the danger of texting and driving. I told him, generally I use my blue tooth for calls and avoid texting, but I do occasionally have to adjust my WAZE while driving. He said they are not allowed to ticket for using a navigation system and mentioned they hadn’t ticketed much for texting but the time is coming for more stringency on this issue. Just like to take my time. I thanked him for caring, and we both agreed to “stay safe.”
by Mary Claybon | Jul 28, 2017 | Health and Wellness |
Enjoy these two interviews I conducted 6 years ago for my Blog Talk Radio show, The Middle Way Health. Now that I am retired these two interviews were even more meaningful to me today. If you plan to retire within the next 5 years, I highly recommend these books.
Retire With a Mission by Dr. Richard Wendel.
Listen to my Blog Talk Radio interview with Dr. Richard Wendel on Retirement. Dr. Wendel is a retired urologist who has both written the book Retire With a Mission and has given many lectures on retirement.
Your Retirement Quest by Alan Spector and Keith Lawrence
Listen to my Blog Talk Radio interview with Alan Spector and Keith Lawrence. Alan and Keith are retired P & G executives and enjoyed writing the book Your Retirement Quest and have given many seminars on retirement.
by Mary Claybon | Jul 3, 2017 | Health and Wellness |
I’ve Been Busy with Retirement
“A well planned retirement does not give you more time, but allows you to use the time you’re given to do what you truly want to be doing without a lot of planning.” Me
First, I want to extend my sincere appreciation to all of my readers who look forward to my writing and blogs. Second I want to apologize for the long wait between musings. Third, I want to tell you how busy retirement can be.
I have so many things I could write about and ideas come to me throughout the day –When I am watering my flowers. My potted flowers look quite colorful and beautiful, and my beds still wait for the pansies to completely dry up and be replaced with something more interesting.
When I work out. I am great about getting my 10,000 steps and still love walking with my friends, but found walking does not do much for the flab under my arms that shakes when I talk with my hands. Nor does walking flatten the belly, which seems to extend a bit over my belt line these days. I now go regularly to the Mason Community Center to take advantage of my Silver Sneakers membership of 13.00/month and unlimited fitness classes. At first, I was a little too aggressive and lacked the humility that would wisely guide me to build up to the harder workouts.
I got right into a TRX class, not having any idea what it was. I walked in and asked what class was going on next, and the kind ladies at the front desk said, “TRX.” “Oh, where is the class?” I asked. “Over by the apparatus that looks like swings.” the front desk lady pointed. “That sounds good to me.” I naively stated. TRX is a workout done with straps that you adjust according to the exercise for a whole body workout –upper and then lower body. I was okay with the arm routine, but when I was instructed to place my feet into the straps, I got all twisted, my feet fell out of the straps, and when I finally got my feet positioned correctly, my leg started cramping. I think I was a big distraction for the group, of much younger women, I might add. I finally said, “Well, is anyone else here a Grandma? I am Silver Sneakers.” They laughed and continued with the workout. I did too! However, I did the work without the straps and decided I best try something else next time.
After three weeks of attending five classes a week including several yoga classes, I woke up one morning and while shaving my legs, put my back out of alignment. I had to back off the workouts and upon returning work out at a more “senior” or “silver” pace. Nevertheless, my body does seem to be transforming.
I get ideas when I am painting. Yes-I am now unleashing the creative artist in me. I had never tried my hand at painting or drawing except for a couple of those classes where everyone paints the same picture with step by step instructions from a teacher. My art always came out as a bit more original. I did enjoy allowing myself to play with the colors and use my intuition to guide the brush on the canvas.
Having no idea how to get started, I looked for some used art supplies and was able to purchase all of the supplies from a fine arts graduate who no longer had time to paint. For $100 I bought all of her supplies that included acrylics, water colors, charcoals, pastels, canvases, sketch pads, pencils, art cases, paint boxes and more. All I had to do was get some good brushes and some books on art instruction, and I was ready. I now attend an art class through the Community Center, free with my Silver Sneakers membership.
When I Travel -Travel is great for unleashing ideas for my next blog post, but I seldom bring my computer, preferring my paper journals and pen to digital writing. Since retirement, Steve and I have traveled to Chicago several times; spent two weeks throughout the state of Florida, and just returned from a two-week road trip through Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Washington DC, Virginia, and West Virginia. We love staying with friends but also are regular Air B and B users. It’s been fun to be able to go away without having to get back to a working schedule.
On these trips we have enjoyed family and friends, two weddings and historical visits to Montpelier, James Madison’s home and Monticello, the home of Thomas Jefferson.
Ideas often come when I am with my grandchildren. They are inspiring and love to be inspired. Having my grandchildren close and being retired affords us lots of time to be together.
And when I am visiting my Godmother, who is now in a nursing home in Centerville, Ohio, a long way away from her Chicago roots. She and I have had inspiring conversations about aging, dreams, spirituality and more.
So you can see that while I would like to sit at my computer and compose an inspiring blog or even share excerpts from the memoir I wish I had more time to write, I am busy-good busy. I love letting the universe plan my days and allowing for spontaneity.
Steve just turned 70 after I turned 65 and we are both seniors and retired. Those words are sometimes hard to say, but we are embracing our time together and the time for new adventures.
In the meantime, I continue to teach A Course in Miracles, and I have been open to offer my service of wellness and life coaching for those who are ready for a change.
Life is good! Retirement is good! Hope all is well with you!
by Mary Claybon | Feb 20, 2017 | Health and Wellness, Uncategorized |
“Healthy people eating healthy food should never need to take an antibiotic.” -Dr. Joel Fuhrman
Tis the season for colds, flues, viruses, sinus congestion and just feeling plain yuk! Many run to the doctor at the first sign of illness, which usually is not necessary and simply spreads your germs or sends you out only to pick up some more.
For a virus, antibiotics do nothing but mess up your normal good bacteria in your digestive tract (mouth, stomach, intestines).
When I get sick there are a few things I do that seem to shorten my days on the couch, but I try to start my natural regime at the first sign of a depleted immune system (scratchy throat, achiness, fatigue, or what I call the eewy geewies when I just know there is a bug in me).
If you have incredibly horrible symptoms like a high fever, cough, sore throat, sneezing and blowing out green or yellow gunk for more than a week – you may need to make an appointment with your doctor but generally rest, stress management, and supporting your immune system with a healthy diet and natural remedies will decrease your time on the couch or bed.
Before you try any of these remedies, although you probably don’t need the doctor, I would at least ask what he or she thinks of the magic. More than likely your doctor will say “whatever works” or “there is some research to show…” or “never heard of it but it can’t hurt” or just take some Tylenol, Ibuprofen, or Aleve and rest. That’s all good advice but is there anything else you can do? Yes! Here are some home remedies you can try.
Natural remedies
First and foremost eat a healthy diet rich in vitamins and antioxidants-vegetables and fruits, green smoothies and soups with added healing herbs and spices such as garlic, ginger, onion, and turmeric. Apple cider vinegar added to your food or taken as a drink has long been known to heal sore throats, colds, and viruses. Horseradish root is an excellent natural antibiotic and decongestant great for loosening mucous or encouraging a blocked sinus to drain. Avoid sugar except for raw honey, which has long been used for its antibiotic properties. Honey added to a cup of ginger tea and sprinkled with a pinch of cayenne pepper is an excellent sore throat remedy.
My favorite natural remedy is garlic. I carry garlic with me when I travel and at the first sign that I feel like there is a bug in me. I eat raw garlic chopped up on bread or mixed with my food. When I am dining out, I don’t hesitate to ask my waitress or waiter to bring me a side of chopped garlic. And yes sometimes you do reek to those around. There is a famous quote “Since garlic then hath powers to save from death, bear with it though it makes unsavory breath.” – Salerno Regimen of Health.
I can remember a time when I was traveling and while at the airport waiting for a flight, I felt like I was coming down with something. I went to one of the airport restaurants and ordered hot soup and a side of garlic. I ate it all. While on the airplane I heard the people in the seats behind me saying “ I smell garlic. Wow! I bet she just ate Italian food!.” It seemed my garlic ingestion was noticeable.
And speaking of garlic, check out my recipe for Garlic Soup.
MARY’S GARLIC SOUP
Start with Chicken or Vegetable Broth (You can use any clear soup or make your own with bullion cubes). Bring to a boil
Add Several cloves of fresh garlic cut up. (I add as many as 10 cloves to about 4 cups of broth) Use as much as you can stand and don’t over cook the garlic.
Simmer the soup with the garlic for a minute or two. (Another variation is to sauté the garlic in the pan before adding the broth. This makes the garlic more tolerable if you don’t like it raw.) I eat garlic raw so I cook as little as possible.
Remove from heat and add: 1 tsp of Apple Cider Vinegar. Sprinkle with Cayenne pepper. (According to taste -a dash can create quite a tang so add according to what you can tolerate).
Other helpful spices are Turmeric, Cumin and Ginger which all have healing properties.
Another variation is to add a beaten egg to the boiling broth like egg drop soup.
If you want to make a more hearty soup, go ahead and add some cooked chicken, turkey or sautéed vegetables. Onions are always good for healing.
Be sure to chew the garlic pieces when you eat the soup.
Enjoy! And Be Well!
.
by Mary Claybon | Aug 10, 2015 | Health and Wellness |
“What soap is to the body, tears are for the soul.”
-an old Jewish saying…
Everyone needs a good cry once in a while. Crying is therapeutic. Emotional tears release stress hormones and endorphins similar to the chemical release of a good run. Interesting that when you cry from cutting onions you don’t get the same effects.
A friend of mine was going through some tough times and was at a loss for solutions, and in fact did not want to be fixed, simply needed more spiritual support or just something to help her gain some perspective. She decided one Thursday evening that she would go to a church-any church that was open.
Growing up, I remember being able to walk into any Catholic church to light a candle, pray quietly, or share your problems with Jesus or Mary or one of the other saints that were represented in statues around main sanctuary. Its different today. Churches are under lock and key for security reasons.
My friend, who by the way, is Jewish, found an open church. It was Methodist and they had an event going on that Thursday evening. She walked into the Church and noticed the sign for the “Crying Room.” “How nice” , she thought. “That’s just what I need.” She walked in and there were rocking chairs. As a therapist, she knew that rocking is very soothing for the body and soul. She also knew the benefits of therapeutic crying.
She had the room to herself, and made herself comfortable in one of the chairs. She began rocking and saw a pile of coverlets, which were to be used by nursing mothers, but my friend thought they were for warmth and security while rocking. Again she was impressed with how welcoming this room was and how it had everything to sit and have a good cry.
There was plenty of Kleenex and a few spiritual books and Bibles scattered around the room. She quietly rocked and let the tears flow. What a great idea! She had never seen a crying room but praised the church for having the insight to provide such a place.
She walked out of the church feeling lighter and later told her husband about the experience at the church.
He laughed and told her that a crying room was for parents with small children who might disrupt a service with their noise. And also this room provided a place for nursing mothers with babies. My friend was so embarrassed. She had never even thought of that. To her, a crying room meant a place to cry-a place to release the tears of suffering that we all experience from time to time.
She laughed and laughed about this experience gaining the benefits of a good laugh and good cry.
