by Mary Claybon | Nov 11, 2009 | Health and Wellness |
As I reflect on my life right now, I want to share an article I wrote that I am reminding myself to follow.
This year has been a very stressful, yet exciting year. We made a major move from a house of 31 years to a new home- very different, a connected "landominium", maintenance free living-quite a change. Between preparing the house for sale, decluttering, keeping it immaculate for the weekly showings for months, working with the builder on the plans for our new home, and the major task of moving in general, my body has taken a toll. You really do have to be mindful of a stress and the affect of pushing until your exhausted. We are now settled and loving it, but I reacted to something while unpacking and developed a major allergic dermatitis reaction. Now on steroids and drugs, it is important that I take time to heal the cells of my stressed out body, by reconnecting my mind and spirit.
Today I put out the yoga mat while listening to meditative music and did a 40 minute yoga routine for detoxing. It felt very necessary and quite nice. My husband and I have resumed our Tai Chi practice in the evening, and hopefully this bout of illness will pass, having been a blatant reminder that YOU HAVE TO STOP SOONER OR LATER!
Anyway, here is the article:
For years people who have talked
about wellness referred to weight loss, fitness or smoking cessation programs.
Later we identified the role stress plays in our overall health and wellness so
we developed stress management programs.
Interesting that although the wellness industry has spent the
last 20 years designing programs and providing health promotion information to
the point that most consumers are very well educated, health is not improving
much – Not the kind of health that is defined by an overall sense of balance of
body, mind and spirit or physical, emotional or spiritual togetherness. In fact
many people are exercising and watching their weight. Unfortunately many people
have given up and continue to spiral upwards. There is no loss of material on
what constitutes a healthy diet or adequate fitness program. There are also
more self help books published than ever before to help us deal with our stress
management.
Keeping all of this in mind, it is interesting that when I
work with people as a wellness coach, their vision often includes a regular
exercise program and healthy diet, but it always seems to include the word
balance and gaining more energy and enjoying life more. Yet that is the one
place it is hard to concentrate. To stop all of our activity, whether it is for
our work or just to keep the house managed is very difficult. We just keep
going until our body can’t go anymore and then we get sick. It is when we get
sick that we question how we have been going about getting all these things
done.
More and more people have said to
me that they need to take time to meditate, yet less and less do. Why is that?
I know for myself I often feel that once this or that item on my to do list is
complete, I will be able to sit back and relax. Sitting seems such a waste of
time when there is so much to do. That is why we recommend that you schedule a
regular time for meditation regardless of what is going on in life or with
work. It has to be as built in as brushing your teeth. It has to be an everyday
occurrence.
But what if we are just not of the makeup to sit in a formal
meditation? That is not necessary, but what is necessary is to have some sort
of practice built into your life for reflection on more than your everyday
tasks. The fact is that one’s body and mind can’t keep on going without a
break. Eventually you will have to stop.
Regardless of what your life looks like right now, it is helpful build into your day a time( even if just 5 minutes) for silence, prayer, yoga,reflective reading, listening to peaceful music, journaling, or if you can,
sitting in a position of meditation, following your breath long enough to feel
a difference in your body- a feeling of peace and quiet rather than rushing and
a sense of urgency. If you practice enough, it will become a memory in your
body that you will be able to tap into when life is speeding by. Like all of my
clients, it has to be a priority and goal for change. Let that be now and not
later.
by Mary Claybon | Oct 24, 2009 | Health and Wellness |
I love food and I love life. I live for joy and enjoy
eating. The day I stopped dieting and I started eating what I wanted and living
to the fullest, was the day my weight stopped being an issue. I look forward to eating and enjoy
every bite. I also enjoy moving and dancing and using my body. I love the
feeling of health and life and love. I think about what I am going to eat from
the time I get up until I take my last bite of the day. I live to eat and enjoy
food and the pleasure of dining. I wonder who I am going to eat with, what new
restaurants or recipes I want to try. I have fun traveling and eating around
the world. I enjoy a variety of cuisines and love every minute of my meals. How
sad that we live in a world where people feel that in order to lose weight, get
healthy, prevent disease they have to deprive themselves of one of the greatest
pleasures of life food and eating.
I love these quotes:
“Eating is not merely
a material pleasure. Eating well gives a spectacular joy to life and
contributes immensely to goodwill and happy companionship. It is of great
importance to the morale.” Elsa Schiaparelli Italian designer
(1890-1973)
“Never fit a dress to the body but train the
body to fit the dress” – Elsa Schiaparelli –
The act of eating and dining out is a time not only to
satisfy your own hunger, but to share an experience with others. At a time when
the world is threatened by acts of terrorism and we live in fear, there needs
to be a time when you can let go of fear, yet mealtimes are often the most
fearful part of the day for many. Instead of enjoying food and the pleasure of
eating, this time is often filled with guilt and fear.
My work with weight management and lifestyle change examines
the underlying beliefs, philosophies, and motivations that affect our relationship
to food and whether food becomes a pleasure for the body or a poison creating
unhealth and unhealthy habits.
I ask my clients and readers four questions: What are you
eating? What are you drinking? What are you doing? And What are you thinking?
Thinking is most important.
I will be offering a series of classes and Blog Talk Radio
shows around the idea of food, focus, mindfulness, and liberated living for
peace and joy.
I hope many of you join me!
Check out my Products and Events Page and Sign up for Free Classes and Downloads
by Mary Claybon | Oct 1, 2009 | Health and Wellness |
FRIENDSHIP: THE MEDICINE OF LIFE
By Mary Claybon
“The friend who can be
silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an
hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing…not healing, not
curing…that is a friend who cares.”
– Henri Nouwen
Friendship is an art. We are born
into families but we must cultivate our friends. A true friend is priceless- someone
you can call when you are confused, have a problem, or when you are excited and
want to celebrate. Sometimes we need a friend to listen and not fix our
problems or advise us with the best solution. Yet, how many people have someone
in their life who will listen and love unconditionally without an ulterior
motive; without asking for anything in return; someone whose own spirit is
lifted by allowing you to share your dreams, worries, fears, confusion, anger,
and other emotions.
This is rare in today’s society,
because we are in a hurry and listening takes time.
Like doctors, we want to give our friend a solution. Often
we don’t want a solution; we just want to talk it out. A true healer will
listen until they don’t exist so the other person can come up with their own
solution, but this takes time.
Recently I went to the doctor and I
said to him, “You know, Doctor, I think there is an emotional component to this
and I really want to heal at a deeper level.” He looked at me with a sense of
helplessness, and said “Well, get up on the table and let me listen to your
heart.” After putting the cold stethoscope on my chest, he proclaimed, “You are
just fine.” Isn’t that funny? Would he really take the time to listen to my
heart and soul and mind? No, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he
doesn’t have time. Listening to someone’s feelings and emotions is difficult.
We quickly want to solve the problem, hurry away the pain, and heal the person.
We can’t expect our doctors to be our friends, but if we had more friends we
might not need as many doctors.
You may have a “ton of friends,”
but how many of your friendships are open and unreserved allowing you both to
expose your soul and unleash your feelings and emotions without fear. You are
fortunate if among the multitudes of people you know, you have one or two
trusting friends who will be there for you even when they don’t understand you.
Cultivating friendship takes time
and thought and the ability to give and to forgive. It is the desire to want to
be in a relationship with another human being for no other reason than the
healing energy of knowing you can count on that person and they can count on
you in life when it is challenging or when it is exciting. This kind of
friendship is the best medicine.
by Mary Claybon | Sep 20, 2009 | Health and Wellness |
Mountain or Molehill:
Keeping Life in Perspective
by Mary Claybon
Some people these days would say a
molehill is a big deal. After all these little pointed mice like creatures can
tunnel through our yards and mess up our flower beds in no time. And mountains?
They are there to enjoy, to climb, to offer slopes for skiing and hiking
trails. Yet the saying, make a mountain out of a molehill implies that we are
making a big deal out of a small issue.
Molehills are upsetting and yet in
the long haul, with a big picture view they are not a disaster. Brain tumors
and terminal cancer are a big deal and like mountains are a journey not easy to
climb. Given the choice of being in pain, losing a limb or loved one, fighting
cancer, or our house burning down, we would all choose the molehills.
How often do you notice yourself
freaking out over day to day inconveniences or small things that just don’t go
according to plan? Recently my husband
and I created a rock fountain in our back yard. Four hundred pounds of rocks
later and at least three arguments, we finally finished our masterpiece. We
were so proud, took pictures and apologized for our unkind words to each other.
The results were a beautiful flow of water around the rocks. Two hours later we
noticed the flow had decreased and the water was leaking somewhere under the
rocks. It was disappointing and disturbed both of out sleep that week. Our
stress increased and our peace of mind was lost-all over a simple garden
project. The truth is we made it a mountain-something to climb and achieve and
could not handle its imperfection.
If that same weekend one of us was
diagnosed with cancer, we would have loved to struggle with a fountain rather
than begin the struggle with this disease.
Next time you get upset, stop and
remind yourself that you have two arms, two legs, you can walk and as far as
you know you still have a lot of life left to live unless you kill yourself
with stressful thoughts.
Most problems have a solution and
those that don’t are a waste of time fretting about. Stay in the moment and
focus on what is really bothering you. Did you ever notice that a stubbed toe
hurts a lot worse when you’re in a bad mood? How much time have you wasted
lately being upset about something that was no big deal?
I am amazed at how some people who
are paralyzed or are faced with big problems can take life in stride and
maintain their sense of joy, while people without these obstacles are never
happy.
There is a value in keeping a
gratitude journal. Write down everything you have and are grateful for
everyday, so that when you freak out over trivialities you can be reminded that
you are already at the top of your own mountain from where molehills don’t look
so bad.
Mary Claybon
is a life and wellness coach with over 30 years of experience in health and
wellness. Through her business Promoting Health: The Middle Way LLC, Mary has
facilitated wellness programs for businesses and individuals and now offers
telephone and web based coaching nationally to promote lasting change. Mary
also facilitates A Course in Miracles group in Cincinnati, Ohio.
Visit www.themiddlewayheal.wpstagecoach.com
or call Mary at 513-309-8377. Mary’s e-mail is maryfree@cinci.rr.com.
PS-I wrote this article last year for a holistic publication. Today, my husband and I took the rock fountain apart and are filling it in with dirt. It was too much maintenance. We are repurposing the rocks and filling it all in with dirt and plants. We haven't had a fight yet. I hope you enjoyed the article.
by Mary Claybon | Sep 13, 2009 | Health and Wellness |
At a time when we feel threatened by the flu season, this article, which I wrote for Infinity Magazine may give a new perspective on staying WELL. Enjoy!
THINK
YOURSELF WELL
I
don’t believe in the germ theory. I believe in the conflict theory. If it were
true that germs were the sole cause of illness, we would be sick all the time.
There are millions of microorganisms and infectious diseases everywhere-where
we live, work, play, shop, and eat.
Stress and conflict play a major
role in whether we are well or sick. Next time you get sick, ask yourself what
was or is going on in your life during this time? Chances are you have had
conflict and stress in your life. A broken heart can break down the body. When
we suffer from aches and pains, chances are you also have pain in your
life.
Research is showing that our
emotions cause at least 75 % of all disease. In his classic book The Power of Positive Thinking,
Norman Vincent Peale quotes a physician who said, “Many of my patients have
nothing wrong with them except their thoughts.”
Meditation,
massage, hypnosis, acupuncture, and hands on healing work because they all have
one thing in common; they promote relaxation of the body and the mind creating
a more balanced state for healing. Healing practitioners must center and
balance their own energy for healing to occur.
Emotions that make us ill are anger, guilt, boredom, and fear. We can
suppress our emotions or recognize them. Psychotherapy and counseling can be helpful because bringing
all of these emotions to the surface without the proper guidance to deal with
them can make us sicker.
Obviously delving into the mind and the emotions is difficult because
every human being is different. How we see life and react to change and stress
is individual. Our medical system can measure physical changes in the body with
laboratory evaluations of the blood and body fluids, but measuring what is on
our mind and how we deal with stress is much more difficult making Mind Body
medicine a challenge.
Doing everything right, watching what you eat, eating a low cholesterol
diet, running and lifting weights, and abstaining from cigarettes and alcohol
are not necessarily a guarantee for staying well. On the other hand, this does
not mean that you should throw all the lifestyle rules out the window. What you
have to realize is that if by doing all of these positive behaviors you are
full of negative energy and stress, your body might look healthy but your mind
is sick.
When the mind is sick, the body suffers and yet by trusting that we have
a choice of what we want to think, the power of healing is in our own hands. We
have the capacity to restore our physical, emotional and spiritual health by
simply desiring to be well. This kind of healing goes deeper than taking
medicine or having surgery to repair or remove a sick part of the body. We have
to believe that we can change our cells by changing our thoughts and when our
thoughts are negative the body will suffer.
by Mary Claybon | Aug 25, 2009 | Health and Wellness |
I just returned from a wonderful family vacation in Oregon "God's Country." We had 10 wonderful days away with our children and granddaughters. After being away and having a very long day at the airport due to a flight glitch, I am back at my desk, taking a deep breath and moving slower than usual because I am "Shifting Gears." Enjoy this article I wrote about this very phenomena.
SHIFTING GEARS
Your kids are going back to
school. You’re in empty nest.
You’ve just returned from traveling. You’re starting a new job. Whether you are
experiencing any of these transitions or other changes in your life, they all
have something in common. They cause us to shift gears or reorient ourselves to
our place and time and circumstance.
I travel a lot both for business
and pleasure. When I return home it takes me a couple of days to get back into
the flow of my routine. I am often tired and feel a bit disorganized. Rather
than get upset, I simply listen to my body. Sometimes it needs to rest. Other
times I need a good walk. If I just go with the flow I feel much more balanced
and productive within a few days.
I remember when my children started
school in the Fall. Summer was fun and our schedule was flexible, but by late
August even though we still felt the summer heat, it was time to set the alarm
and get back into a routine. When they all went away to college, the house felt
empty and my husband and I had to reset our priorities. It is all a matter of change and
shifting gears.
Shifting gears has an effect on the
body, the mind, and the spirit. We have to come up with strategies for easing
into our new situation. We have to cope with change.
In the book, Aging
Body Timeless Mind ,Deepak Chopra states “An estimated 6 trillion reactions
are taking place in each cell every second.…In order to stay alive, your body
must live on the wings of change.” Essentially we are always adapting to
change.
Your body may respond by feeling a
bit off. You may experience fatigue or a sense of restlessness. You may feel
like you’re getting a cold or have a run down feeling. Mentally you may feel a sense of
disorientation or not knowing what to do next. You may feel unorganized or a
lack of focus. You may also have a positive experience of feeling excited,
relieved or contentment. Shifting Gears can strengthen or weaken your spirit
and sense of connectedness.
Some strategies for dealing with
shifting gears or coping with change are first to accept that you need time to
readjust. Recognize that a shift is taking place not just outside you, but within
you as well. Ease back into your life situation slowly. You may need to take
time off work. If you just returned from a vacation it is good to plan for a
day off to unpack and prepare to get back to your normal working routine.
It takes time to adapt to a change in your life, and if it is
a big change you may need more time to adapt. Give yourself time to adjust to
your current situation. Allow your body and mind to relax as needed. Take a nap
or take a walk, whichever is most helpful. Most of all, practice mindfulness-
staying in the present moment and accepting a short period of chaos while your
body, mind and spirit adapt to change.
Mary Claybon is a life and
wellness coach, writer and speaker with over 30 years of experience in the
field of health and wellness. Through her business Promoting Health: The Middle
Way LLC, Mary has facilitated wellness programs for businesses and individuals
and now offers telephone and web based coaching nationally to facilitate
lasting behavior change. Mary also facilitates A Course in Miracles group in
Cincinnati, Ohio. Visit www.themiddlewayheal.wpstagecoach.com
or call Mary at 513-309-8377. Mary’s e-mail is maryfree@cinci.rr.com.
